At the end of each day there are always little things that I wish I did better.
Things I wish I had said differently, patience I wish I had more of, and moments I wish I would have relished in a bit longer.
But in the grand scheme of things I'm really proud of so many choices and experiences I've both had as well as given to my children.
So during those moments that I feel regret for a mistake in mothering I want to reflect on these accomplishments.
And during the moments that my pre-teen or teenage children think I'm a horrible mother :) (which they will at times with those raging hormones) I hope that they will read these posts and realize how often I think of them and how much I try to do for them.
1. Staying at home. I don't think there is anything that I am more proud of, more fulfilled by and that I think is more important for a child. I hope my kids know as children and one day as adults that there is no place on earth I'd rather be than at home raising them. They will always know I was there to build snow forts on snow days. I was there to make cookies at 10:00 AM for no special reason.
I was there to read book after book, color pictures and make play-doh creations.
I'm there to give and receive hugs, referee fights and instill values.
I was there to take them to the library, make spontaneous trips to visit relatives, go to Gymboree and practice piano.
I play dinosaur and unicorn and Dumbo and Safari and make spaceships out of cardboard boxes. And not only do my children enjoy it, but I do too!
My friend, Jenner and I talk about it often. You can teach your child so very much,
instill such great values and manners, prevent so many injuries and help them navigate through tough social situations.... all by simply being present.
2. Breastfeeding. For a total of almost 3 years!!! While I am not proud of my breasts by any stretch (they have shrunk to nothing)I am so proud of nursing this long. I can't think of more tender moments I've had than these, and the benefits are numerous.
3. Being my kids' first teacher. I know they will have so many great teachers in their lives, but I am so proud that I was their first one. I love knowing that my kids learned to read and write and share and use manners with me in our cozy home.
I love knowing that I helped them with their first science experiments, first computer games and first art projects. Again- all by simply being present.
4. Taking our kids anywhere and everywhere! I love finding all the events that stir Kayla's passions or excite Collin. I know what they love and I love giving it to them. Dinosaurs, archaeology, racecars, animals and more. If I can find an event I think they'll like... we're there!
5. Road trips. OK I can't take all the credit for this one. Part of the reason we road trip most places is because I don't like flying!! LOL
But there is nothing like being in cars and hotels with your family for hours on end.
We have truly become the best of friends.
6. Letting them have a voice. I've been told more than once that I'm crazy for letting my kids be such a big part of our family's decisions.
But I've always believed they are capable, intelligent human beings with real opinions... not just childish whims.
So it's fine with me if Kayla chooses not to eat mammals or Collin chooses not to go to preschool. It matters to me where they want to live or where they want to go to school. I really appreciate their little voices and the hearts behind them.
7. Making up stories. This has been a tradition in our family since Kayla could barely talk. Tim and I have always read them each books before bed and then made up a story to tell them. Tim tells stories of Planet Jaboo for instance. I tell stories about Princess Buttercup and the land of Colors. I love imagination and wild zany things. I love oral tradition and I love hearing my kids telling each other made up stories too!!
8. Being married to the best Dad they could possibly have. This should really even be number one on my list. I hear the calls Dr. Laura gets from women complaining about how horrible their husbands are with their kids and what deadbeats they are.
Dr. Laura always has the same response, "Well you picked him!"
It's true. When we marry we aren't just picking a partner for ourselves, we are picking our children's father. What a monumental thing that is!
Well I picked well and have the most involved, nurturing patient Dad for my kids!
They call him "The King of Fun". :)
9. Discipline. This might be a strange one, but I'm so glad that Tim and I aren't the weak, give your child everything and never let them hear you angry at them kind of parents that seem to so widely exist today.
Our kids know when they have done wrong. We let them know it and they know they aren't perfect. I'm not the Mom who believes every kid on every team deserves a trophy and that they should be rewarded for every little move they make in life.
While I am a huge believer in positive reinforcement, I also have NO problem with negative reinforcement and I believe my kids are the better for it.
10. Last, I am proud that I believe strongly in family ties. I am so glad that my kids love their grandparents so much. I'm so glad that they value their cousins and Aunts and Uncles so much. I love that Collin wants to color a picture for Great Grandma Wharton or that Kayla wants to call Nana or Grandma Elephant for no reason.
I love that things make Collin think of Chasing Papa or a song reminds Kayla of Papa Tom. We fly, we drive, we call and we write. And I am not just proud of myself, but of the grandparents and Aunts and Uncles who also value this and constantly connect with us!!!!
Whew! I feel like one rockin' Mom right now! I need to read this once a week.
Especially on days where Collin smashes a bug and I say, "Collin why did you do that!?" and he says, "because I wanted to kill it Mom"!
Those are moments when I wonder where I went wrong and what I could do to be a better Mom!!! LOL
