So at some point I really want to write about the things that I am most proud of as a Mom.
But I am finding that I'm not able to do it right now.
After a recent tragedy in our extended family, as a Mom took her own life, all I can think about is that I'm happy to be here.
I hope that my kids never have to experience the awful devastation of losing a parent while they are still children.
When taking your own life seems like the best option, a person must be in such a deep depression and so totally lost that it is unfathomable to most of us.
It scares me.
I wonder if a person has those tendencies and thoughts from a young age, or can a major depression happen to any of us?
That REALLY scares me.
Suicide seems so utterly selfish to me, but that makes me realize just how much I DON'T know about depression. While many people feel angry towards this woman, I can't help but feel totally sad for her.
I don't want to think that she is in hell, as some people may.
I want the suffering to be over for her.
Most of all, I hope that her kids can find some kind of peace. I feel the worst for them!
But for right now, I am holding my kids a little closer and just feeling happy to be here.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Speedracer!
What can I say?
This movie was absolutely awesome!
I haven't enjoyed a movie that much in a long time!
I don't have much else to say today.
I hope to post a bit of Kayla's piano recital this week.
I also hope to compose a "Pat on my own back" blog entry this week.
We took the kids to an archaeology exhibit the other day and my Mom
mentioned how many neat things we do with the kids.
That made me feel really good, because the times I cherish the most
are the times we share as a family. And the things I am most proud
of in my life are things I've done with or for my kids.
So it got me thinking to what things I am MOST proud of as a Mom.
And not my kids accomplishments, because we Moms always have lots of
those to beam about.
But what things I've done as a Mother that make me feel proud and complete.
I am thinking on that and I'll write about it soon.
This movie was absolutely awesome!
I haven't enjoyed a movie that much in a long time!
I don't have much else to say today.
I hope to post a bit of Kayla's piano recital this week.
I also hope to compose a "Pat on my own back" blog entry this week.
We took the kids to an archaeology exhibit the other day and my Mom
mentioned how many neat things we do with the kids.
That made me feel really good, because the times I cherish the most
are the times we share as a family. And the things I am most proud
of in my life are things I've done with or for my kids.
So it got me thinking to what things I am MOST proud of as a Mom.
And not my kids accomplishments, because we Moms always have lots of
those to beam about.
But what things I've done as a Mother that make me feel proud and complete.
I am thinking on that and I'll write about it soon.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
What a week... what a week!
I just realized that I have not posted in almost a MONTH!
How did that happen?
So there is a lot going on.
I shot two weddings in AZ last week and had an absolute blast.
I spent Sunday drinking Pina Coladas laying in the sun ALL DAY in
my parents backyard paradise.
I came home to SNOW and lots of it! I've already lost my tan. :(
Tim left for a business trip the day after I returned. While he was gone:
Collin fell on the stairs and gouged his lip like I've never seen. Lots of blood!
I was asked to shoot a wedding in CA in September and about fell out of my chair with excitement... and fear! :)
Collin sounded out his first words- CAT, MAT, SAT and HAT.
It is adorable- he can sound the word out but then just stares at me like... I know I just did something big but what is it I just did?
He doesn't realize those sounds make a word!! Hooked on Phonics rocks!
He went from knowing his letters and letter sounds to sounding out words within a week of opening that box!
Kayla had her last drama class today before the big play next weekend!!
She is doing great!
She is learning to do a cartwheel in gymnastics which shes wanted to learn for a year now. It's taking her some time but I know she'll get it one day!
Our puppy,Lucy is making her debut Wednesday, April 12th.
All reports I've gotten from the breeder and vet say that she is so sweet, very nice and a little quieter and more shy than her siblings. Perfect, if you ask me!
We went to see a Paleontologist speak today about the Tylasaurus. Very intersting!
Tim continues his tour of the country, as he was in Portland this week and Richland, Washington and heads to Nebraska this coming week.
Lastly, Michael Johns got voted off of Idol. What the #$&^?????
How did that happen?
So there is a lot going on.
I shot two weddings in AZ last week and had an absolute blast.
I spent Sunday drinking Pina Coladas laying in the sun ALL DAY in
my parents backyard paradise.
I came home to SNOW and lots of it! I've already lost my tan. :(
Tim left for a business trip the day after I returned. While he was gone:
Collin fell on the stairs and gouged his lip like I've never seen. Lots of blood!
I was asked to shoot a wedding in CA in September and about fell out of my chair with excitement... and fear! :)
Collin sounded out his first words- CAT, MAT, SAT and HAT.
It is adorable- he can sound the word out but then just stares at me like... I know I just did something big but what is it I just did?
He doesn't realize those sounds make a word!! Hooked on Phonics rocks!
He went from knowing his letters and letter sounds to sounding out words within a week of opening that box!
Kayla had her last drama class today before the big play next weekend!!
She is doing great!
She is learning to do a cartwheel in gymnastics which shes wanted to learn for a year now. It's taking her some time but I know she'll get it one day!
Our puppy,Lucy is making her debut Wednesday, April 12th.
All reports I've gotten from the breeder and vet say that she is so sweet, very nice and a little quieter and more shy than her siblings. Perfect, if you ask me!
We went to see a Paleontologist speak today about the Tylasaurus. Very intersting!
Tim continues his tour of the country, as he was in Portland this week and Richland, Washington and heads to Nebraska this coming week.
Lastly, Michael Johns got voted off of Idol. What the #$&^?????
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Summer plans
This is the summer I've been dreaming of!
We are taking Kayla on an actual dinosaur dig in Western Colorado!
Chasing Papa (her buddy in archaeology and paleontology) and Nana will be joining us.
After our all day dig we will have a nice dinner and sleep before the next day, 4th of July, where we will watch the fireworks in Grand Junction.
And in June we will be spending a week in Michigan which is where I lived for most of my childhood. We'll visit a big old haunted house that I once lived in (yes it was haunted)and I've already arranged with the current owners for us to go through it. We'll see the school where I went to kindergarten and we'll visit some friends of Tim's, lot of my family and top the week off with attending the wedding of my beautiful cousin, Jaimie.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, our house might sell and we'll have to decide where to live!!!
We are taking Kayla on an actual dinosaur dig in Western Colorado!
Chasing Papa (her buddy in archaeology and paleontology) and Nana will be joining us.
After our all day dig we will have a nice dinner and sleep before the next day, 4th of July, where we will watch the fireworks in Grand Junction.
And in June we will be spending a week in Michigan which is where I lived for most of my childhood. We'll visit a big old haunted house that I once lived in (yes it was haunted)and I've already arranged with the current owners for us to go through it. We'll see the school where I went to kindergarten and we'll visit some friends of Tim's, lot of my family and top the week off with attending the wedding of my beautiful cousin, Jaimie.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, our house might sell and we'll have to decide where to live!!!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
3 Happy Moments
I randomly caught three moments this week that just made me so happy!
-The first one is when I was hollering for the kids to get ready to walk out the door because we needed to get Kayla to school.
No one answered- and there I found them... totally dressed and ready with shoes and jackets on. Kayla was reading a book to Collin on the stairs to keep him occupied while I got ready. Sooo sweet!
-Collin was thoroughly enjoying a chocolate soy ice cream cone and looked so cute with his dark moustache. I was surprised he liked the lactose free, soy version of ice cream and I loved seeing his face a mess. My kids so rarely can stand sticky or dirty things on them. It was a great image!
-Collin curled up to his Daddy on the couch in the afternoon. All he wore was a pair of underwear and he looked so little laying next to Tim. Adorable!
Priceless moments that just make me love my family all the more!
5 not so obvious things about me
Inspired by: Susan :)
1. I dread parties.. birthday parties, adult parties, dinner parties, intimate gatherings or big gatherings. Especially kid's parties!!! I actually spend the days and hours before the event hoping and praying that the event will be cancelled. No offense to anyone- it's just this weird part of me that cannot stand obligations. The only thing I can truly commit to is my family. :)
2. No one can make me laugh like my little brother. When we talk, there is usually at least one comment from one of us that brings tear pouring, choking laughter.
Our humor is beyond rotten! LOL
3. I secretly live in Vermont... Tim and I have loads of kids and dogs and make our own maple syrup.
4. If I did not live in Colorado Springs and was somewhere really really liberal, I would have the funkiest hair and makeup colors!! I really would!!
5. I have lots of half written books and stories that I plan to finish some day soon!
1. I dread parties.. birthday parties, adult parties, dinner parties, intimate gatherings or big gatherings. Especially kid's parties!!! I actually spend the days and hours before the event hoping and praying that the event will be cancelled. No offense to anyone- it's just this weird part of me that cannot stand obligations. The only thing I can truly commit to is my family. :)
2. No one can make me laugh like my little brother. When we talk, there is usually at least one comment from one of us that brings tear pouring, choking laughter.
Our humor is beyond rotten! LOL
3. I secretly live in Vermont... Tim and I have loads of kids and dogs and make our own maple syrup.
4. If I did not live in Colorado Springs and was somewhere really really liberal, I would have the funkiest hair and makeup colors!! I really would!!
5. I have lots of half written books and stories that I plan to finish some day soon!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
overwhelmed- in a good way
I really feel like every person has their "time" in life.
A time where you come in to your own person, separate from all other things.
After you get married and have your first baby, it seems like you fade in to the background a little bit. Your "time" is temporarily over.
But it's OK because your joy comes from your children's accomplishments and personalities and your husband's successes, etc..
And I'm really OK with that. If in my whole life, all I really accomplish is the raising of Collin and Kayla I will be filled with success and happiness.
But- somehow... all of a sudden I am finding myself emerging in to my "time".
It's as if several new paths have been laid out in front of me.
I feel extremely lucky and blessed but I also feel a bit overwhelmed.
So much is happeneing... which way do I go?
Do we move to AZ to take advantage of new opportunities and a falling house market?
Do we stay in our comfort zone and a life that we really do love?
I have a new puppy on the way to me!!
I am so excited about that! It's not just a puppy to me for some reason.
It's a symbol. Isn't that funny?
It's about me taking care of me. Doing what will make me feel happy.. having a baby to care for again. Having a buddy.
I think I'm experiencing some sadness already at the prospect of Kayla going to school all day next year. Collin may start preschool.
Is it possible to experience the empty nest syndrome this early on?? :)
My photography business is really picking up. Part of me wants to run with it.. pay off debt and have fun money.
Part of me doesn't know if I want the obligation of "having" to work and be places at certain times and have deadlines.
But it seems like this is all taking a life of it's own so maybe I'll just go along for the ride!!!
A time where you come in to your own person, separate from all other things.
After you get married and have your first baby, it seems like you fade in to the background a little bit. Your "time" is temporarily over.
But it's OK because your joy comes from your children's accomplishments and personalities and your husband's successes, etc..
And I'm really OK with that. If in my whole life, all I really accomplish is the raising of Collin and Kayla I will be filled with success and happiness.
But- somehow... all of a sudden I am finding myself emerging in to my "time".
It's as if several new paths have been laid out in front of me.
I feel extremely lucky and blessed but I also feel a bit overwhelmed.
So much is happeneing... which way do I go?
Do we move to AZ to take advantage of new opportunities and a falling house market?
Do we stay in our comfort zone and a life that we really do love?
I have a new puppy on the way to me!!
I am so excited about that! It's not just a puppy to me for some reason.
It's a symbol. Isn't that funny?
It's about me taking care of me. Doing what will make me feel happy.. having a baby to care for again. Having a buddy.
I think I'm experiencing some sadness already at the prospect of Kayla going to school all day next year. Collin may start preschool.
Is it possible to experience the empty nest syndrome this early on?? :)
My photography business is really picking up. Part of me wants to run with it.. pay off debt and have fun money.
Part of me doesn't know if I want the obligation of "having" to work and be places at certain times and have deadlines.
But it seems like this is all taking a life of it's own so maybe I'll just go along for the ride!!!
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